she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize