No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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