i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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