Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
