it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
