All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
