well you can't waste a boner
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
