Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
