If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
