Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
North Korea, Best Korea!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
