that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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