just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
