I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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