careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well you can't waste a boner
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
