i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize