there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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