i jhust puked up my retainher.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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