My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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