Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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