That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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