I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
