never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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