Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my being single is dangerous.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize