**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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