i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
