This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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