jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
