Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
