ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
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I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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