I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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