3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
