'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
