question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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