Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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