I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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