He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
