half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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