She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
