Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
