your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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