i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
