I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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