I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
MIDGETS
????
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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