I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize