Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
