He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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