if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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