i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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