remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
