North Korea, Best Korea!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
