After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
