my phone needs a breathalizer
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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