Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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