i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
