You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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