I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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