GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I pour the whiskey from now on
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
