Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
