And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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