His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
