Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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