This girl is more easily done than said...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
