Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
whose parrot is this?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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