So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
