She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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