I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
