4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
plz talk dirty to me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
